Monday, 21 March 2011

Meme Monday #2

Wonga Man

In the book of television adverts, this has to be one of the very worst in recent years. A collection of smiling people you wish would just disembark from the screen in front of you, and disappear into the night sky. Too jolly for my liking.

But then, like a punch in the face:


The thumbnail guy, plotting your demise.

Suddenly, nothing else matters. Everything is still in the room. Something almost…magical has been witnessed. Who is this fellow? Why is his face so very, very large? He even cancels out the semi-attractive redhead who precedes him. You have to feel for the well-groomed fellow who has the misfortune of following Wonga Man. The audience is most likely still in a state of WTF? And it doesn’t exactly help that he does that peculiar little wiggle after he shuts his mouth. It’s also nice how any thoughts of helping the environment are given all of 2 seconds at the end. Yeah, money matters people. Don’t give your phone to people purely to recycle. Get some piffling amount of money for it.

But that isn't why we're here.

After starring in a series of user-created videos, Wonga Man garnered a kind of semi-meme status. Perhaps he would have even ascended into the halls of superior memes, had Envirofone not been so keen on utilising him in every advert from that point on. Some things are just not destined to stay underground. Some things are destined to make people money. You can’t fault the community for trying though.


But in a way, I’m happy for the guy; sure, I’d do everything in my power to avoid someone like him in a social situation, but you have to assume he’s enjoying his moment in the spotlight.

And who would want to take that away from him?


The word "Meme" can be defined by typing it into Google and hitting "search." Meme Monday, on the other hand, is a series of articles seeking to elucidate and educate. It deals in those memes, which may find themselves on the fringes of super popular, world conquering status. It is concerned only with spreading joy and attempting to answer that question posed so many years ago..."Where is the love?" The answer, is right here.

Monday, 14 March 2011

Monday Musing

Hey guuuuuuuuuuys, how's it gooooooooing? Yeah? Okay...okay, good. I just...yeah...okay.

But enough Boxxy talk. The poll i put up last week tells me that people like reading about gaming, films, music, weird news, the paranormal, and anything humourous. So, basically, everything i put on the list.

That's helpful -_-

Well, i'm not going to go too far into any of those on here. This blog is for me to test out various theme-based topics, to pick those that are successful, and carry them forward into a super secret, unnamed project, that will hopefully come into existence in the not-too-distant future. Keep up here, and you'll find out what that is soon enough. For now, i enjoy writing about animal conflict and reviewing absurd and silly things. Hopefully, you like reading about them. :) If you've any suggestions, post them below. Has been busy recently, but i'm back now, and there will be many more posts on the way.

In other news, if you're into challenges and doing crazy things, you should check Erika's blog.

Bye for now ^_^


Question of the day:

How do you feel about links within blog entries? 

There are a couple in here, and i'd be interested to know whether you like being linked elsewhere when you're reading a post. For me, i think they can expand on a particular topic, but too many makes the blogger seem kind of lazy, like their original article only works if the reader can be directed elsewhere. Also, it starts to feel like you're on Wikipedia -_-

Wednesday, 9 March 2011

Warfare Wednesday #2 it that time already? Looks like it must be...


This week, it's that tank of the animal world, the immovable object...the hippo.

How do hippos eat? When you were a kid, when hippos weren't in the zoo or on TV, they were bolted onto a piece of red plastic that you called a "tabletop game." After getting your parents to reach the box down from the shelf in the cupboard where you kept all your childhood paraphernalia, you'd set the thing down on the floor and some friends, family, or whoever happened to be at your house at the time, would gather round for feeding time. Uncle Joe maybe. The one who used to feel you up when your Dad wasn't looking. Or rich Aunt Sally. She was a cokehead, but it's okay, she's with Jesus now.

Once relieved of their cardboard tomb, you raised your palm to the heavens and brought it down hard, smashing the lever sticking out of the back of them, forcing them to gobble up an array of white plastic balls. Yeah, gag on that, hippo-bitch. Chew those balls like a pro. Then the balls would pop out their ass with a reassuring "dink," into a little repository placed under their little, inert bodies. At the end of the game, yourself, Joe, Sally and that weird kid from next door (the one who liked to shout out the various terms for boy and girl parts at high volumes), would count them to see who had won. Yeah, "won." As if the ordeal wasn't torture enough for the creatures, it tied into it some sick human game too. But if you were a hippo, it was the only meal you'd get. Then it'd be back in the cold, dark cardboard sleeve, and following a short ascension, returned onto their heavenly cupboard shelf, until next Wednesday. Hard times to be a hippo.

Fast forward to adulthood and reality sets in. Screw that Hungry Hungry Hippos* nonsense, this guy just wades into the water with a casual swagger, and TAKES. THAT. CROC. DOWN. Like a boss. Nevermind the fact that hippos tend to look like a sausage filled with a punching bag, you do not mess with the hippo. Their mouths are theirs to command. And theirs alone. Hippos in the wild are what animal scientists refer to as "post-op," as in, those who had their levers removed. Such beautiful freedom. ;-;

*Hungry Hungry Hippos


Warfare Wednesday is an ongoing series, depicting the varying violent acts of the animal world. If it's action packed and stars God's creatures (this statement may or may not conflict with your personal beliefs, but as it is in the interest of humour, you can let it pass right?), it's going to be featured here. Really though, just watch your back. These guys are dangerous.

Monday, 7 March 2011

Meme Monday #1

What Is Love?

Well, what is it exactly? The Black-Eyed Peas asked where it was some years back, then rather too willingly threw themselves down the stairs, those very same stairs that lead to the fiery pits of nightmare, torture, oblivion and shockingly horrible music. I say "music." But that's a whole different story best reserved for, well, never.

But that isn't why we're here. This is:

Throughout the 1990s, Will Ferrel and Chris Kattan performed a Saturday Night Live sketch known as "The Roxbury Guys." Guest hosts for the show would, on various occasions, participate in the filming; luminaries including Tom Hanks, Jack Nicholson and Sylvester Stallone. This particular video stars a young Jim Carrey, displaying his elastic physicality, madcap acting, and joining the two regulars in their synchronised head-bobbing. Their car, the vessel of choice to take them on a neverending quest, hitting up parties and functions, to find some hot females to umm, "dance" (?) with. At least, they call it dancing.

The song in the video, "What is Love?" by the group Haddaway, was released in 1993, topping the charts in 13 countries, but failing to break the top 10 in the US. Though the skit would eventually spawn a commercially successful, though critically humiliating film version, the song lived on, gaining meme status by way of a .gif posted to YTMND. This clip of a few seconds of bobbing head movements, spawned many variants, often with the original music re-jigged to fit the new visual.

Some of these, can be seen in these conveniently compiled videos:


Yes, yes he did.


The word "Meme" can be defined by typing it into Google and hitting "search." Meme Monday, on the other hand, is a series of articles seeking to elucidate and educate. It deals in those memes, which may find themselves on the fringes of super popular, world conquering status. If you wish to complain that the articles contained within are about memes which are, in fact, really quite well documented and popular, i'm afraid i find it hard to care enough to even finish thi...

Sunday, 6 March 2011

Reviewing the Situation #1

Uninterested Store Assistants

Ah, the wonders of modern day shopping. A good many stores are content to leave you to browse at your own pace, with no fear of being approached by some cad harbouring more devious intent than merely “guiding you to the right purchase.” This I find to be generally pleasing. Breezing through stores without these fiends snapping at you, is much calmer. As great as this may be, it can often be indicative of a poor sales plan in that particular store. Either the store is cheap, and does big business this way, or is more expensive and provides a shopping experience replete with pushy sales staff. It balances out I guess.

Being in one of these cheaper stores to purchase goods, often means you will be greeted by one of the most uninterested persons you will ever have met. Generally speaking, this will be a young employee, no older than 25 at best, dressed immaculately in whatever the store may be selling that season. Chewing hours old gum, and with a fringe masking their eyes, they make no attempt to greet your entrance into their domain.

As you present to them your garments and various accessories, they will no doubt reluctantly offer a small token pleasantry if you're lucky, or merely snatch the offending items across the counter top and begin the process of removing hangers, security tags and all manner of accoutrements before your very eyes.

This entire show takes place across a vast sea of counter top, designed entirely to put as much distance between you, the filthy, unwashed masses, and the groomed, pristine glamour of the sales assistant. Their dead stare fixed at nothing but the ground, as you make nothing but eye contact with them, in the hope some flicker of life may cross your vision, some sign of humanity alive in that partially animated corpse.

If you have ever worked in a store that goes through lulls where it isn't busy, and when the hours just seem to drag on, you may feel some affinity with these sad creatures. It isn't a fun job, the hours are long, the pay is largely miserable. But when a bright spark of life does meet your gaze, the warmth is immense. You feel worthy. “Hey there,” they may say, acknowledging you exist, as you stand before them. This mighty spot, that may as well be marked with an “X” and spotlit from the rafters, is suddenly filled with open air, a cool breeze and a wash of sunlight as the haze of expected indifference clears.

Despite this, I award disinterested sales assistants...

Boring out of 10

Maybe you have had experiences with poor sales staff?

Next week, I will be reviewing sneezing.


Reviewing the Situation is a weekly critique of various things a person may find to be interesting, appealing, unappealing, exciting, humorous and generally peculiar to be reading about. There will no doubt be reviews about topics and subjects that are more abstract than you may usually find, like casting a critical eye over books, films and music. Examples include, but are not limited to, such things as the midday rain, swimming in cold water, people shouting in public, polar bears and vending machines.

Saturday, 5 March 2011

Looking for otter (sic) directions

Hello world.

I've put up a poll over there >>>>>

I would appreciate any feedback as to what sort of content you, the reader, like to see on your travels around the 'net. As i am in the process of planning where i'd like this blog to be in the weeks and months to come, any suggestions would be warmly received.

For now, i will be testing out various subjects and topics. Enjoy ^_^

Wednesday, 23 February 2011

Warfare Wednesday

Wednesday's posts will be animals at war. Today's theme, rather fittingly, is otters.

Enjoy :)

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